Everyone has that point & time in their lives where they catch themselves saying "I wish I would have done that differently." When you become a mother, it's more common than you realize. You always hear that you learn a lot from your first child, and tis' true. Even if you aren't planning on having another child, you will still learn so much! Motherhood within itself is a HUGE journey, for mother AND father. I have learnt so much through the journey of being pregnant, and I have become a much better person than what I used to be. Before Hasting, I never imagined myself baby wearing, making my own wipes, using cloth diapers, or studying in to HALF the things I'm now much more informed on. Hasting was planned, and actually so was baby A. Of course when you get pregnant it's always a surprise, but we had planned it perfectly to have them exactly 2 years apart (although we weren't quite so sure it would happen!) Now that I am almost 21 weeks ( a little over halfway there, woohoo!!) with baby A, I can use a lot of the things I wish I would have known about with her!
Since having Hasting, I have became a FIRM believer that as a parent you should always make informed decisions, not decisions based off of what every Tom, Dick, & Harry are making! With that being said, I would like to take a moment to share a few things that I wish I knew then, that I know now!
ALWAYS REMEMBER:
1. To trust you instincts above anything else. You have been the carrier of your child for 9 months, you are the mother. Don't let others persuade you in to things because you are a "new" mother!
2. YOU make the decision as to how you birth. If you are uncomfortable with a situation, say NO. YOU HAVE THAT POWER! If you need some time to look in to something more in depth, ask for that time. Although doctors have a degree, you must remember they too are people, and they too have opinions and make mistakes. Always think back to #1!
3. There is no "I can't do this". You MUST plan to succeed. If you can prepare yourself mentally, you have already overcame half the battle! If you plan to breastfeed, don't even BUY bottles OR formula. Keep them OUT OF YOUR HOME. If they are there temptation is too close. BAD, BAD booby traps is what they are. When things get too tough, or you feel like giving up, these things are too easy to fall back on. You won't need any kind of back up of the sorts. Don't do that to yourself. DO NOT SET YOURSELF UP FOR FAILURE. Breastfeeding is hard, but is very rewarding for you and your new baby.
4. All that baby stuff you "think" you need, can easily be done without. If you plan on co-sleeping, ditch the crib. Babywear and you can ditch the stroller, bouncy seat, and swing! The only stroller I now own is my double jogging stroller. Yes, I can still babywear while pregnant. Once she is here I can also tandem wear! If you breastfeed you won't need bottles, and all that extra that's comes with them. Use cloth diapers, and you won't have to worry about the stacks and stacks of diapers and wipes, and where to put them.. or where the environment will be putting them for the next 500 years!
5. Hand me downs, thrifting, and consigning are AWESOME and will totally rock your socks! We bought EVERYTHING new for Hasting (and did have A LOT bought for him). There's no need for all that mess. Babies change sizes very frequently, so why pay that CRAZY full price?!
6. Don't feel like you need everyone and their brother there to come see you after you have your baby. This is your time with your family and your bonding time. Visitors can keep skin-to-skin at a bare minimal, which is opposite of what you want. This is your moment, embrace it and take it all in. Everyone else can wait!
7. Dirty dishes, laundry, sweeping, mopping, dusting... it can all wait. It'll still be there tomorrow, and the next day. If you are tired, SLEEP. This applies to before baby is here and AFTER. Don't let your household chores become overwhelming and too time consuming.
MOM NEEDS CARE TOO:
1. Rebozo is something that I have looked in to since Hasting. What is it? It's a Hispanic midwife technique that helps to support a woman during labor. I've read up on how intimate it can be for you and your partner.
2. Child birth classes, and not just the one everyone takes at the hospital. I'm talking Bradley method, Hypnobirthing, or Hypnobabies. I am hoping to use a few hypnobirthing techniques with baby A!
3. Yoga balls are rad, period. get one, use one, love one. Remember, the more active you are during your pregnancy, the easier your labor should be.
4. Prepare mentally. Thinking about how you envision your birth and writing it down will help during labor. Birth affirmations are a great way to step out of the way of your body. Write them down, read them every morning, before bed, and have your doula read them during your labor!
Examples of birth affirmations:
-I am a strong and capable woman. I trust my instincts to know what I need for labor.
-I have grown this baby; I will push her out.
- My job is to simply relax, and let this birth happen.
- My body is indeed beautifully and wonderfully made.
- A woman's birth is her chance to hold hands with God.
- This is what my body was designed to do.
- 300,000 women will give birth with you today. Relax, breathe, and do nothing else.
-Soon, I will meet you baby.
- I trust my body to birth my baby.
- I am deserving of an easy, uncomplicated birth.
- I have courage, faith, and patience.
- I deserve this wonderful birth!
Hang these where you can see them during birth!
5. TAKE BATHS. They are wonderful, and help with contractions!
6. Check out a blessingway! I've had the pleasure of attending 2 since Hasting was born. It's almost like a babyshower, but more of a shower for the mother. It's a celebration of the journey in to motherhood, and to honor HER.
7. SEE A CHIROPRACTOR. I can not stress this enough. I didn't find chiropractic care until Hasting was a couple of months old, and I had really been missing out! It can help with any pains or issues that could arise, as well as providing great preparation for your birth! Chiropractic care is also AMAZING for your newborn. Check that alignment in your baby!
8. Dress comfy please. Don't squish your bell in to clothes that don't fit. You can still be stylish and be pregnant. There are great tutorials for creating your own pregnancy shirts as well as PANTS! You don't HAVE to spend loads of money on pregnancy clothes to be comfortable! PS--> great time to thrift! You can make maternity clothes for less than $2!
9. HIRE A DOULA. I didn't even know what a doula was until after Hasting was born. Baby A will be born with a doula by my side! A doula is a great birthing coach, and extraordinary support for you and your spouse!
10. Walk, a lot. If you have feet swelling issues, the more you walk the less they will swell!
DADS:
Last night I read a great article on how dads can help, WITHOUT THE BOTTLE! Check it out!
There are SO MANY ways a daddy can bond with his wife and his child!
Other good resources include:
NOURISHMENT:
1. Cook and freeze, like a crazy woman. Ask your friends to help! Right before baby is born. When you're too tired to cook, reach in the freezer and pop something in the microwave or oven. These will be life savers.
2. EAT WELL. I didn't eat enough calories as it was (with Hasting), which led to un-successful breastfeeding.
3. Chamomile tea is awesome for insomnia!
BEFORE BABY ARRIVES!:
1. Get that baby an Amber Necklace or bracelet! I wear 2, Hasting wears 2. Baltic Amber is very beneficial to baby & adult! Check out the benefits
here!
2. Make a laboring playlist! make sure it sends you to your happy place. I personally enjoy Enya! When birthing time comes I want something more upbeat :)
3. Spend LOTS of time with your spouse or significant other. If you already have children, be sure to include them!
4. Write a letter to your future child.
5. TAKE LOADS OF MATERNITY PHOTOS. You will quickly miss your growing belly.
6. Have fun creating and organizing the space you will be spending a lot of time with your baby in. Whether it be your bedroom (co-sleeping), or in their own nursery.
7. Make your own wipes! Super easy, and will save you load of money!
WATCH THESE:
- The Business of Being Born by Ricki Lake
- More Business of Being Born by Ricki Lake
- The Birth Story by Ina May Gaskin
READ THESE:
(I do NOT recommend What to Expect When You're Expecting)
- Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin
-Birth From Within by Pam England and Rob Horowitz
-Hypnobirthing by Marie F. Mongan
-Childbirth Without Fear by Grantly Dick-Read
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
-Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds by Cynthia Gabriel
- The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by Diane West
IMPORTANT THINGS YOU SHOULD REALLY KNOW!!!!!:
1. Research circumcision. Hasting IS circumcised, and we knew no better. If this baby were a boy, that wouldn't be the case. There are a crap load of myths in the U.S about male circumcision, and it will blow your mind when you learn some of the things you will learn when you research!
2. Delay that cord clamping. Let the cord finish pulsating and let ALL that blood that is vital to your baby, REACH your baby!
3. Research vaccinations. Be sure to be fully informed on the decision of pumping things in to your new baby!
4. Postpone the un-necessary. Baths, weight checks and all that can wait. Get your skin-to-skin time in immediately. Immediate skin-to-skin has proven to be essential to the bond and breastfeeding relationship between a mother and her child!
5. Skip the eye goop unless you seriously have an STD. Otherwise, that crap isn't needed.
6. Don't get induced unless it is medically necessary. Those last few weeks of gestation for your baby are very, VERY important to their development!
7. Cloth diapering will rock your world! See previous post if you don't know where to jump in with the cloth! I CAN HELP!
8. Sitz baths are awesome to promote healing after giving birth!
9. PLACENTA ENCAPSULATION! I am very excited to say I will be returning lost nutrients to my body via my placenta this baby! Tons of help with PP issues, and can easily be done yourself if you choose to not hire a encapsulation specialist! Read more on placenta encapsulation benefits!
10. You don't HAVE to have a baby bath tub. Those things scare me, the plastic ones at least. Bathe with your baby instead. Have more skin-to-skin, nurse in the tub, be awesome. I hated having to find somewhere in our house to store the baby tub!
11. Homeopathic alternatives are the way to go. Pumping yourself or your baby with things to kill good bacteria is a huge oh-no. Research other alternatives before you reach for Tylenol or baby oragel!
WHEW. Ok. So, I can't wait to use all the awesome information that I learnt through having Hasting with Baby A. This is my one step closer to hopefully having a homebirth in the future with our third child (yes, I said third.. in like 5 years, or so we think!). I am so grateful to have Hasting, and to have learnt all the valuable information I have learnt through him. I continue to learn daily.
Being a mother is one of the greatest accomplishments in my life, and I strive to be the woman I know my mother was once to m; with the few years she had with me. I know a lot of people don't agree with the way that I chose to parent, and that's ok. I'm not here to be a people pleaser when it comes to the health and well-being of my children. I'm here to be their mother, and in the best way that I see fit for them. We all have the choice to choose how we parent, my goal, is to make sure you see both sides of the story. Life is a journey, and we all have a path. We just need to find the right path for ourselves and our families.
Happy baby-making :)
Comments
Post a Comment